4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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