made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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