and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm too high and old for this...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
