doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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