dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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