Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
