MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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