i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When are your genitals available?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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