i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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