Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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