I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
