I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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