The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
