Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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