are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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