So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
