butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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