Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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