I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
