last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Randomize
