insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize