$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
