you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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