the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
