Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
