nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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