hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sobbing to NWA
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
