is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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