): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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