So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
