just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
