I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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