i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize