Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
