if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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