filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
