Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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