your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
