Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
