I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
this hospital has no fireball
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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