I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
