The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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