My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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