I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
