Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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