He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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