You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
