I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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