Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They have beer where we have blood.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
