the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
