would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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