Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
