All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am one with the molecules
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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