i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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