how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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