Pants 0. Shit 1.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You smell like stripper and shame
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
