there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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