His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
