Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
