The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
