I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
