Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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