Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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