Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
