I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
