Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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