Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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